Man Manual

Someone please explain to me that logic behind him. I swear he was ignoring me, I thought we were going back through our cycle. Sad thing, we have a cycle. Washington Boy is so confusing. I thought I upset him because he stopped talking to me. He told me he had no reason to not want to see me when he comes home again. I told him he does. I told him that he if he found someone else to fool around with he would have a reason. He didn’t talk to me after that. The next day I apologized and told him I was trying to just be realistic in case something did end up happening. It is way to make things a bit easier. Thinking of how replaceable I am makes it easier. His response was okay. I’m actually okay with that because it’s a response. I don’t care much about the fact that it wasn’t really a response, but it was something.

He kept saying he missed me and that he wanted to cuddle with me before I upset him. I don’t know what to do or how to handle that. He told me he basically used me when he was here. He said he knew I would get attached. Why? Why did he see me? Why did he let it go the way it was? Because he wanted to see me. That was the only answer I got. I didn’t exactly want another one. It’s easier to think my feelings belong to a one way street. Honestly, that’s not hard to think. He told me he doesn’t have feelings, the more I know him the more I agree.

For a day, this guy doesn’t talk to me. I accidently snapchat him something for something else that night/the next morning. Oops. I uninstalled my snapchat. I needed a break. I needed to stop freaking out whether or not he was actually going to me. Honestly, I never thought he would. I thought this would be where it stopped for real this time. No more flirting, nothing. I was okay with that. Well, not really, but I didn’t try to dwell on it or make it better. I did well compared to last time.

This morning I had work at 1130. I got up at my normal time of 0800. Sometime between 1000 and 1100 I redownloaded snapchat. I was just curious, I should’ve let it go. He actually talked to me. Okay, well he only said streak. 51 days, whoop… I was shocked, more like weirded out. I responded saying streak. I had no clue what else to say. Nothing. He said something about the emoji and I said it meant two months of bffs. I turned my phone off after that and went to work. He did respond at some point and said that he was waiting for it. Maybe that means that he was waiting for the two months and then end the streak. Don’t know, don’t think I will ever know. I have no idea what he means or wants anymore.

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